Friday, January 4, 2008

No Regrets

As I was clearing brush from my back pasture today, I reflected on how I almost didn’t follow my dream of having acreage and playing farmer.

When my husband and I were preparing to move back to Texas after our stint in Nebraska, we knew it would probably be our last move and we wanted to make sure it would be a home that we would be happy in the rest of our lives. For my husband, that didn’t mean much beyond a large master bedroom and a walk-in shower. Other than that, he didn’t care.

On the other hand, I cared a lot. I wanted a house with a large, country kitchen, some character, and a nice room for my office. And in my heart of hearts, I wanted to live in the country and have a few acres where I might be able to have a horse. But I wasn’t even sure if I should attempt to have that because my husband’s health is not good and I thought we should settle for a nice house in a small town.

When I told one of the chaplains I worked with what I was considering versus what I really wanted, she asked me why I was settling. She reminded me what regrets do to us, especially as we near the end of life, and asked if that is really what I wanted to do to myself. So what if I only got to live my dream for a few years before circumstances forced us to move again? At least I would have the dream for a little while and would not end up on my death bed playing "what if."

Buoyed with her advice, I told my husband that I was going to look at acreage the next time we went house-hunting in Texas. I thought he might object, but bless his heart, he didn’t. Of course, he had picked all the homes we’d lived in previously and had told me this pick was mine, so he really couldn't object.

We found our perfect house, well, maybe not perfect, but close to it, and have close to five acres. We also have a horse, two goats, two dogs, and three cats. Sometimes more cats depending on strays that wander down for a snack.

So this afternoon as I worked and marveled at the peace and beauty of our little place, I thanked God for the wisdom of my friend, for the graciousness of my husband, and for the blessings of “Grandma’s Ranch.”

And if death comes knocking soon, I will have no regrets.

4 comments:

Lisa said...

No regrets has such a lovely ring to it doesn't it?

Thanks for dropping by... You are welcome any time. Stroke Ollie's twin , Orca, for me! :o)

Pam in Colorado said...

We are in planning mode for what could be our "last" move. I have to say this with tongue in cheek, as I have a gypsy's heart for wandering. Life is too short to in one place, forever.

We are currently in CO (beautiful country) but are wanting to move to Northern Oregon. Finances determine the timing, so we are working on this issue. It may be we move this summer/fall. It may be a year from that time. God knows and I am working on patience and peace regarding this.

I really want a couple of acres a mile or two from town. I would love a home with a large country kitchen, a room for my sewing machines/crafts and a huge outbuilding for a shop for my husband to do his woodworking and car repair/rebuilds. Beyond that a spacious living room with big windows and a nice porch would make things good in my heart.

I have decided that if you imagine the details, then if you get something different, the change in plans is easier to take, as I live the details and then feel like I'm simply moving again, when I have the reality to step into.

This makes my husband happy, since he only has to actually move once, not twice! ;)

I'm glad you didn't settle for less. If you do need to move later, it will all be good.

Maryann Miller said...

Thanks for taking the time to read my entry, Lisa. And I will give Orca an extra pat from you. He is such a loving cat - when he wants to be. :-)

And, Pam, I wish you well on your plans for moving. In describing what you want in a house, you were describing mine. In addition to the country kitchen, lovely guest room, and office, we have a large living room with bayed floor to ceiling windows that look out over a pasture. It is so pretty, I haven't put a curtain or drape up. It is like looking at a postcard. And it overlooks a large deck that goes across the front of the house and down one side.
We are blessed!!!

Pam in Colorado said...

Love big windows. Our home now has wonderful windows in our large livingroom. I rarely close the curtains, even though at night the whole neighborhood can watch all our doings. I'd prefer a pasture our mountain out that window, but I'm just grateful for hte windows.